letters of apology

Haemoglobin gloats,

floats upon the water

my son

crouches on the periphery

between life and

here -

my void of being.

blankness...blankness

should he burn,

his skin peel

to be reborn

in the arms of another woman,

a mother.

These are my questions...

through shadows

I crave

heat,

warmth to cast

deep long shards of sunlight

over translucent skin.

Fever breaks as cold sweats,

rolling over the bow

of a ghost ship

Twenty-seven thousand miles

I shall crawl,

bare boned over grains of sand

carved sharply

to torture my journey

back to you,

always you,

laid sleeping on my chest

Penance.

He is my gravity,

my natural phenomenon.

Through my feet

I shall drive

two twelve inch nails

to keep me grounded.

My apologies

scatter far

and wide,

across the vista from our porch

and I know

they are meaningless

scraps of paper

in my absence.